Open mouth, Insert foot.

I'm starting to feel a little like Harriet the Spy. And it looks the the world has gotten ahold of my notebook.

Someone near and dear to me has pointed out that in my amusing little anecdotes, I seldom paint flattering pictures of any of the participants. Though I attempt not to use proper names, the characters generally know who I'm talking about when I write. That's intentional. I certainly don't want anyone to think I'm talking behind their back. Also, all the characterizations are meant to be humorous and in no way do they are they meant to give any sort of complete or even accurate description of a person. Unfortunately, I sometimes (okay, normally) forget that most people don't appreciate being referred to as a "roommate/squatter" regardless of how humorous the line might seem to me. For that reason, let me give you a little background on, and a slightly more complete picture of, the people who sometimes show up in my blog entries.

"Spike"- That's me. I'm a tech trainer in the great white north. I love my job. Especially because it took me 7 months of being home, unemployed, to find it. I found out last Christmas that it doesn't matter how good you are at your job, nor does it matter if you're right. When you have a serious throwdown with the owner's sister-in-law, you don't generally keep your job for long. I'm opinionated, a little arrogant, and sometimes kind of an ass. I'm also crazy loyal, which is important because I have to be able to survive the times when the people I love are pissed at me, and not let it effect the relationship after they cool off. Also, I have a nasty habit of speaking before I think, hence this blog entry.

"S.A."- My wife. The greatest thing ever to happen to me. Smart, Funny, Beautiful (even if she doesn't think so), and totally willing and able to put me in my place. She's a great writer. Sometimes, I think she serves as my conscience. OFTEN, I think she serves as my brain.

The Families-

My Folks- Sometimes referred to as "Tomas” and Cathy. They “raised me from a pup.” If I seem like an ass, blame them. My dad once mentioned that when I was a kid they really tried to teach be to be independent and not to overly concern myself with what other people thought. He now figures maybe they tried too hard.

“Frog” – My younger sister. We probably have the best relationship now that we’ve ever had. She lives 5 hours away. That probably doesn’t hurt. She’s a good kid. She teaches special ed and spends pretty much every waking moment helping people with disabilities.

The In-Laws- “Danno & Sylv” or “Grammy & Grampy” (That’s what our nephew calls them and what our kids will call them.) I have awesome in-laws. Danno is now letting me work on his highly collectible ’42 Ford GPW. I have ZERO mechanical expertise, but luckily there are a couple other people working with me to say “STOP!!!!” when necessary. Sylv continues to like me even though I make her life miserable by opening my mouth when I shouldn’t.

Rachel & Jeff- Sarah’s sister and her husband. Rach is S.A.’s best friend. Jeff is one of mine. He often serves as both my partner in crime and my voice of reason.

Matt & Joe- Sarah’s Brother and his son. Joe is my favorite nephew. Matt’s kind of a guy’s guy. Definitely the one to call when you’ve got stuff to move. (Unless you’re easily embarrassed by someone who works 3 times as hard as you do.)

Our friends-

The Barry Crew-

“Drew” (also known as “Andrew Andrew”)- Author of the “Blog at the End of the Universe”. My best friend from college, the best man at my wedding, and an all-around wonderful guy. Also a really big geek. This is demonstrated by the fact that he actually has a career and that he just got his MBS. Damn motivated people…

“Mr. Steve”- Also a collage buddy. Has taken a career path similar to my own. Largely consisting of “Gee, this job sucks. Next!” Repeat.

SJP, Michelle, Jen L. – All my best female friends from school. Not only my friends, but they all adopted S.A. when she was living in Florida and helped her through the whole home-sick thing. All have strangely morphed into adults since I left.

Friends from Home-

Liam- Previously referred to as “Uncle Liam”, “our squatter/roommate”, and “slightly balding”. The biggest reason I thought I should write this entry. Liam lived with us for a few months because he needed a place to stay and we had extra space. I referred to him as a squatter because he did not pay regular rent while he was with us. Of course, the reason he didn’t pay rent is because I told him not to. He was the best roommate I’ve ever had. Always conscientious, not too messy, and didn’t each much of my food. Also, he prefers “thinning” to “balding”, so there you go.

Kev- My golf partner. Probably my best friend up here. Confirmed bachelor. Business owner. Has a long track record of dating skeezy waitresses. (If you are a waitress and have dated or is dating him now, I’m sure YOU’re not one of the skeezy ones, so don’t worry.) Has made it very clear to me that, regardless of how big a geek he might seem, he never went to band camp. He was too busy going to computer camp. And to Star Trek conventions. And playing Dungeons & Dragons. Hard to believe he’s still single, huh?

My Blockbuster Kids and Assorted Associates- I was a store manager for 2 Blockbuster Video stores in Northern Michigan. That’s right, I got canned by Blockbuster. Now I’m very glad, but it was a hell of a kick to the ego at the time. The best part of the whole deal is that I got to keep all the kids who worked for me. John, Trav, and Lauren all walked out the day I got fired. Now that’s loyalty. Lauren finally got another crap job 8 months later. Trav was a little luckier and only took about 4 months. John started his own business, so he didn’t have to look for work for quite so long. Now they all live (officially or otherwise) with Liam, Adrian (Johnny’s girlfriend), Paul (a school chum), and Scott. Collectively to coolest group of young people I’ve ever met. When I compare myself as a teen to this group, it does not make me feel good about myself.

“Skippy”- He works for Kev at his store. He also plays in a band. Walking evidence how music makes you attractive. At least that’s all I can figure, because his girlfriends are always out of his league by any reasonable measure.

Tim- The last member of the poker group. Skippy’s uncle and a truly great guy. He’s been a vegetarian for 20 years, does yoga, and generally makes me feel like a kid. It’s truly a shame that he has no kids because he’s one of the world’s greatest role models.

I.L. Friends-
Nate- My best buddy. Only person I know who’s more loyal than I am. Fellow Tigers nut. Now a married massage-therapist in Chicago.

Adam- Also known as “Bud”. One of my best friends since we were 3 years old. One of very few people I’ve ever met who I knew was, without a shadow of a doubt, smarter than I was. But that’s okay because I’m taller. Now an electrical engineer in NY; he does some sort of sub-contracted communications work for the military that I fail to understand regardless of the fact that he explains it to me every time he sees me.

Jen R.- Now Jen G. since she’s married. My other best friend. Now a Special Ed teacher in Indiana. Sometimes calls me “Ramjet” and Adam “Tiger”. Not really sure why. Married a great guy who we love but who unfortunately lives in Indiana, so we don’t see them nearly often enough.

The Best of the Rest-

Amy- S.A.’s cousin and author of “Floyd’s Hardware”. Mother of 2 great kids, who I have attempted to kidnap on many occasions, but have yet to be completely successful. Now the soon-to-be step-mom to 3 more kids. All of whom also seem to be quite cool. I used to think she was a bigger klutz than even I am, but changed my mind when I watched her on a jet ski.

Laura & Ryan- Laura’s Amy’s younger sister and has always been one of S.A.’s best friends. They had a little falling out a while back, (Probably my fault. I find that most things are.) but now seem to be back to normal. A very good thing because most of all S.A. needs more female friends. Ryan’s her husband of a couple years. (Thanks for straightening me out, Amy.) Very decent guy. They have a 6-month-old daughter who’s the coolest.

Dave (A.K.A. “Fire Marshall Dave”) & Holly- Laura & Amy’s kid brother. Sort of the family cut-up and ring-leader. Has a degree in fire science. Worked as a Private Investigator until he quit, out of loyalty to a co-worker. He is now finding out that loyalty can seriously bite you in the ass. Holly’s his wife and is, amazingly enough, as goofy as he is. When I tell stories about doing less-than-advisable things with S.A.’s family, Jeff and Dave are usually involved, too.

Anyway, I think that’s just about everybody. Hopefully, a little background will help shed more light on folks. I am very obviously blessed with some amazing friends and it’s probably important that I say that every so often. Especially so I can continue to tell embarrassing stories about them.

Laterz