4 Things Blog Meme

Four jobs I’ve had:

1. Store manager - Blockbuster Video
2. Statistics Teaching Assistant - Barry University
3. Assistant to the Director of the Speakers Bureau - Florida Marlins
4. TAPESTRY Assistant - C.O.P.E.S.D.

Four movies I can watch over and over:

1. Star Wars
2. The Muppet Movie
3. Mr. Baseball
4. Air America

Four places I’ve lived:

1. Burt Lake
2. Miami Shores
3. Lansing
4. Mt. Pleasant

Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. The Daily Show w/ John Stewart
2. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. The Soup

Four places I’ve been on vacation:

1. The Badlands
2. Baseball and Boardwalk
3. Duck
4. Los Alamos

Four of my favorite dishes:

1. Chili
2. Aunt Marie's Zuchini Casserole
3. My Dad's Mac 'n' Cheese
4. S.A.'s Pot Roast

Four sites I visit daily:

1. Free Press Sports
2. Deadspin
3. The Blog at the End of the Universe
4. Ken Levine

Four places I’d rather be right now:

1. Home
2. Keith Ronk's Garage
3. The Cottage
4. Miami

Four bloggers I’m tagging:

1. Andrew Andrew
2. S.A.
3. Amy
4. Sorry, I'm only tagging 3.

Blogger Beta

Blogger Beta finally let me move my blog over this morning. This allows me to apply "tags" to my entries that tell y'all what specific stuff is about. (For instance, it's fun for me to look back through all the stuff I write about S.A.) All I have to do is to go back to every entry I've ever posted and decided how I was to tag it.

As you might guess, I'm not getting ANY work done this morning.

Election Day is Coming Up

I borrowed this from Ken Levine, who took it from Larry Gelbart. I don't think either of them would mind.

For Election Day – Lest We Forget


Iraq
Iraq
Iraq
Abu Ghraib
Guantanamo
Evil Doers
Evil Do Gooders
Terrormercials
Outsourcing Jobs
OutsourcingTorture
Quitting International Criminal Court
The Kyoto Protocol
The Geneva Conventions
Leaving Habeas Corpus for Dead
Civil War Abroad
Uncivil War at Home
Sound Bites
Unsound Policies
Unremorseful
Unregretful
Unrepentant
The Middle East Mess
The Middle Class Collapse
Predictably Unprepared
Perpetually Unequipped
Unmatched Ignorance
Unbridled Arrogance
Unwarranted Phone Taps
Unprecedented Powers
Compassionate Imperialism
Faith-Based Fascism
Total Dicktatorship
700 Club
700 Mile Border Fence
Over 700 Presidential Signing Statements
Unmatched Incompetence
Unparalleled Corruption
Ethic Cleansing
Governor Bob Taft
Governor John Rowland
Governor Bill Janklow
Oversight
Overlook
Stuff Happens
Stuffed Shirts
Tailored Suits
Tailored Stories
24/7 Spin Cycle
Executive Privilege
Privileged Executives
Wordsmiths
Warsmiths
Surrogate Samurais
Draft Dodging Doges
Potomac Pattons
A Coven of the Craven
Representative Tom Delay
Representative Roy Blunt
Representative Ken Calvert
Representative John Doolittle
Representative Jean Schmidt
Representative Jim Gibbons
Representative Tom Feeney
Representative Patrick McHenry
Representative Christopher Shays
Representative Katherine Harris
Representative Barbara Cubin
Representative Joe Barton
Representative Jerry Lewis
Representative Gary Miller
Representative Marilyn Musgrave
Representative Richard Pombo
Representative Rick Renzi
Representative John Sweeney
Representative Charles Taylor
Representative Curt Weldon
Representative J.D. Hayworth
Representative Don Sherwood
Representative John Patterson
Representative Rodney Alexander
Representative Roy LaHood
Representative Bob Beauprez
Representative Bob Ney
Representative Randy Cunningham
Representative Chris Cannon
Jeff Gannon
Representative Mark Foley
Representative Dennis Hastert
Representative Jim Kolbe
Representative John Shimkus
Representative Tom Reynolds
Over Paid
Over Reaching
Over Logging
Under Armored
Under Suspicion
Beneath Contempt
Senator Bill Frist
Senator George Allen
Senator Conrad Burns
Senator Joe Lieberman
Senator Rick Santorum
Senator Trent Lott
Senator James Inhofe
Senator Pat Roberts
Senator Sam Brownback
Rubber Stamps
Robber Barons
Senator Larry Craig
Craig Schelske
Ken Blackwell
Lester Crawford
Crawford, Texas
Brian Bilbray
Margaret Spellings
Media Consolidation
Homophobia on the Range
Fearmongering
Smearslinging
The RNC
The DNC (Do Nothing Congress)
DC (Dutifully Corporate)
Family Valuables
The Far Wrong
The Far Righteous
Reverend Jerry Falwell
Reverend Pat Robertson
Reverend James Dobson
Reverend Lou Sheldon
Ralph Reed
Gary Bauer
David Safavian
Vice Presidential Energy Task Force
Seventy Dollars a Barrel
Three Bucks a Gallon
Record Oil Company Profits
Anwar Pipeline
Anbar Province
Arthur Anderson
ABB
Adelphia Communications
Merck
Eli Lilly
Mirant
AOL Time Warner
Kmart
Bristol-Myers Squibb
CMS Energy
Duke Energy
Nicor Energy
Reliant Energy
Dynegy
Peregrine Systems
Homestore.com
Xerox
Qwest
Tyco
WorldCom
Global Crossing
Global Warming
Global Boiling
Lee Raymond
Exxon
Enron
Abramoff
Tribe Bribes
Mike Scanlon
Grover Norquist
War Profiteers
War Privateers
Halliburton
Bechtel
Blackwater
CACI
Titan
Carlyle Group
Custer Battles
Kellogg, Brown & Root
George Tenet
Unanswered Questions
Questionable Answers
Adam Kidan
Timothy Flanigan
Lawrence Lindsay
Jessica Lynch
Jim Ellis
John Colyandro
Donald Keyser
Peter Roskam
Katherine Gun
Garrett Lott
Armstrong Williams
Talking Points
Pointless Talking
Chuck McGee
James Tobin
Thomas Scully
Kenneth Tomlinson
Allen Raymond
Claude Allen
Katrina
Rita
Harriet (Miers)
FEMA
FISA
NSA
Cut and Run
Run on Cuts
Bring It On
Dead Or Alive
Terri Schiavo
Bill Frist, MD
John Bolton
Diebold
Florida, 2000
Ohio, 2004
North Korea 2006
Selective Diplomacy
Preemptive War
Iraq.
Iran?
Sleeper Cells
Stem Cell Research
Darfur
Dubai Ports World
Swift Boat Hit Men
Max Cleland
Douglas Feith
Mumming the Press
Dumbing the Proles
Roger Ailes
Sean Hannity
Bill O’Reilly
Fred Barnes
Morton Kondracke
Brit Hume
John Gibson
Ann Coulter
Laura Ingraham
Michelle Malkin
Glenn Beck
Neil Cavuto
Neal Boortz
Neil Bush (No Brother Left Behind)
Rush Limbaugh
David Frum
David Horowitz
Golden Parachutes
Shrunken Pensions
Sunken Bipartisanship
Bernie Kerik
Eminent Domain
J. Steven Griles
Numerous Convictions
Occasional Confessions
Social Security Privatization
Abrupt Resignations
Porter Goss
Dusty Foggo
Zero Accountability
Even Less Credibility
Michael Chertoff
Homeland Insecurity
Ahmad Chalabi
Baghdad Museum
Tora Bora
Taliban Resurgence
Iraqi Insurgents
General William Boykin
General Eric Shinseki
General Janet Karpinski
General Ricardo Sanchez
General Anthony Zinni
Mission Accomplished
Lawbreaking Lawmakers
Impeachable Sources
Suppressed Medicare Costs
The Donut Hole
Intelligent Design
Intelligence Failures
Ari Fleischer
Scott McClellan
Tony Snow
Tony Perkins
Tony Rudy
Tony Blankley
Tony Blair
Downing Street Memo
The Late Great Britain
Ken Mehlman
Dennis Prager
Wayne Simmons
Frank Gaffney
Expiration of Assault Weapons Ban
John Ashcroft
Alberto Gonzales
Alberto Fernandez
Danny Diaz
William Bennett
Stephen Hadley
Karen Hughes
Bunnatine Greenhouse
Richard Grasso
Brian Doyle
Thomas Noe
Ted Van Der Meid
Tan Nguyen
Michael Gerson
Michael Medved
Michael Reagan
Michael Maloof
Michael Savage
Aluminum Tubes
Rice
Yellowcake
Niger
Valerie Plame
Joseph Wilson
Scooter Libby
Robert Novak
Richard Armitage
Brent Bozell III
Paul Bremer III
Gulf II
Non-Regime-Changing Regime Changers
Neoconmen
Ex-Non-Vet Vulcans
Playing to an Enraptured Audience
Armageddon Uber Alles
Paul Wolfowitz
Richard Perle
David Wormser
Elliott Abrams
James Woolsey
Zalmay Khalizad
William Kristol
The Coalition of the Dwindling
Staining the Course
WMD (W’s Mass Denials)
Mad Cowboy Disease
Mad Cowhands Disease
Kissinger Redux
Duck Cheney
Rumbo
Blossom (the Turd)
George (the Fourth):Son of a Higher Father; Uniter, Decider, Flatulater; Reader of at least three Shakespeares, Camus’ “The Stranger” and “The Pet Goat;”
Prematurely discharged National Air Guardsman, missing in inaction, who describes members of the political party that successfully prosecuted two world wars as quitters.
Billions Missing in Iraq
Trillions Missing in D.C.
Missing Limbs
Missed Lives
Iraq
Iraq
Iraq

Health-Conscious Strip Joints

We're going downstate this weekend for a bachelor and a bachelorette party. The latter is really a misnomer. I'm not sure what the specific qualifications are for a bachelorette party, but I'm pretty sure that having the bride-to-be's Grandpa and Grandma in attendance pretty much disqualifies it.

I'll be attending the bachelor party. Actually, it sounds like we're playing disc golf, having a cook-out, and either watching a baseball game on TV (assuming the Tigers don't lose the next 2 games) or a hockey game in person. To my way of thinking, this means that someone planned a bachelor party without actually talking to the groom-to-be, because I have to assume that no red-blooded American male is gonna okay a bachelor party for himself that does not, in any way, involve strippers. This is, after all, quite possibly the last opportunity for him to view, let's say, assets which do not belong to his bride-to-be.

Being the good friend that I always try to be, I decided to do a little research in order to to formulate a backup plan. (You know, in case he yells "This is a bachelor party! I want assets!")

As Grand Rapids is a pretty conservative place, I was concerned that there might be a scarcity or decent adult-oriented establishments. Silly me.

It turns out that there are a couple site that review strip clubs. Also, they do not involve NSFW pictures, which I found interesting. Obviously these are sites for folks with a purely academic interest in strip clubs. (Unfortunately, the names of the sites are NSFW, so I was glad I was doing the research on my wife's laptop sitting in the periodical room at the library. You don't really want sites like "strippers-r-us.com" popping up in your history at work.) Anyway, it turns out that G.R. does, in fact, have a very highly thought of establishment called the Red Barn Adult Theater.

Among its other selling points was one that stood out for me. Since it's illegal in Michigan for an establishment that features full nudity to have a liquor license, the Red Barn features a juice bar!

I think this is great. It's much easier to convince your significant other to allow you (And to all of you guys who are saying to yourselves "I don't need anybody's permission to go anywhere!", you are obviously not married, so shut up.) to visit a strip joint if you tell her that you promise to be very health-conscious while you're there.

Which leads me to a related story.

Years ago, when my buddy Kev was in college, he and a few pals enjoyed a guys-night-out which included visits to multiple bars and a strip joint or two. The next day, while all the guys were feeling a bit under-the-weather, one of the guys looked particularly bad. One of his eyes was swollen half-shut. Since none of the guys really had perfect recollection of the entire evening, they couldn't figure what he'd done do give himself the beginnings of a shiner, but they weren't particularly concerned. However, as the eye got worse over the following couple days, they all convinced him that he should see a doctor.

The diagnosis was a bit, well, icky. It turns out that the gentleman had a pubic louse in his eye. Evidently a product of enjoying too many lap-dances from gals who didn't enjoy showers.

Luckily, I feel confident that kind of thing doesn't happen at clubs with juice bars.

Laterz.