Reasons why proof-readers are important

The following is an email I received from a major corporate training agency today. I do a good amount of business with this company, becuase they have developed a very good training curriculum. That being said, today was definitely not one of their shining moments.

Hello There,

I am sorry I missed you. I wanted to tell you about our hostility and tourism program. The program is being launch on January 15. Also we have our train to trainer seminar on February 27, 2006. This seminar will be located in sunny Florida.

I did let you know that at least once a month I would contact you, so that the communication lines will always be open. If you have any questions feel free to contact me at my office. I have been assigned to your region to help you with any and everything, from marketing to ordering exams. So please exhaust your resources.

Thank you and I look forward to speaking with you.

Your Partner,

J****** M******

I responded with the following email.

Johnnel-
Thank you for your email. I appreciate your contacting me and keeping me informed. Email is often the best way to accomplish this as I am generally away from my phone.
One note- While I can see that Hospitality and Tourism training could be very useful, I suspect that "Hostility" and Tourism training will find a much smaller market. I know that I, for one, am already very good at directing hostility towards tourists. Check the email you sent me. I hope it wasn't a form letter you sent out to many people.

Thank you again for keeping me informed.

Owen Harrington

Notice that I was nice enough not to mention that the program was "being launch" on January 15. Nor did I mention that a "train to trainer" seminar sounds potentially painful. (A TRAINER to trainer seminar might be better.) And I even kept it to myself that, in the phrase "any and everything", the any should be hyphenated.

This is why I'm having a difficult time hiring a secretary. If I hire someone who writes like this, I'm just gonna have to fire them.

Laterz.