Jeeezus.....

Sometimes it's like I work in a alternate universe. I almost wish I was a cartoonist, because I'm pretty sure my office would make a good comic.

I just walked up to the front desk to tell the receptionist something. I witnessed a number of things that seemed a little out of the ordinary.

• The receptionist (Hereafter referred to as "1".) was standing in front of the bathroom door, holding it shut, so as to make it difficult for her (and my) boss to get out.
• My admin person (Hereafter referred to as "2".)was standing next to her giving her instructions about how to effectively grasp the doorknob.
• 1 noted "It stinks! Who farted???" 2 replied "Must be Gib!" (Gib is the owner, Dr. M. Neither of them would call him Gib to his face if their lives depended on it. Evidently they get more familiar when they see his taillight leving the parking lot.) Both of them proceeded to literally roll on the floor laughing.
• 1 jumped up and grabbed a matchbook, ostensibly to relieve the odor she'd complained about. 2 informed her that she's allergic to sulphur and would be in dire straits if a math was lit anywhere near her. I've never heard of anyone being allergic to sulphur. I am, however, smart enough to keep my mouth shut.

Side Note: 2 is also, by her estimation, allergic to all plants but, strangely enough, no animals, subject to debilitating headaches and backaches, and was, at an earlier point in her life, a member of the U.S. Army Special Forces specializing in Covert Ops. Very covert, obviously, because I don't recall there being many female Special Forces in the 80's. In fact, according to the Army, women are still prohibited from being in Special Forces. All that said, I have no doubt that 2 honestly believes she was in Special Ops. 2 is a very good admin person. She is, however, nutty as a fruitcake.

• 1 proceeded to light a match, cackling maniacally.
• 2 started running in circles in the lobby, hacking and coughing like a tubercular chain-smoker in a burning house.
• 2 ran down the hall to her office as 1 sat in her chair, screaming with laughter.

At this point I left to come back to my office. I really wish this kind of scene was a little more uncommon around here.

Laterz