Of exhaust pipes and role models...

This weekend, I installed a new exhaust pipe on my car. To those of you who are "car guys" (or "car gals"), this probably doesn't seem like a big deal. However, being as I'm the kind of person who calls AAA when I have a flat tire, successfully replacing a major piece of hardware on my car was a major personal victory.

I had a bit (okay a lot) of help installing the pipe from a family friend who, in a former life, was the head mechanic at a local dealership. He now has a very well equipped auto shop, for his personal use, at his house. Since our families have been friends forever, (He's my best friend's dad.) I felt comfortable calling him on a Sunday afternoon and requesting the use of his shop.

As it turns out, I also made good use of his expertise. I think he was afraid I'd hurt myself (or, more likely, his shop) if he didn't help. At any rate, we successfully changed the pipe and my car no longer sounds like a Harley with a badly tuned carburetor.


His assistance gave me pause to think, however. I'm nearing 30 years old. I have a 3-month-old son. I've been married for almost 6 years. By any legal or even logical definition, I'm an adult. The thing is, regardless of how many "adult" activities I participate in, I still don't feel like a Grown-Up.

I think this is due, at least in part, to the fact that there are a number of "Grown-Ups" that I admire and look up to. And it feels like, if I'm looking up to a number of people, then I must, logically, be down. And I guess that's okay.

In a culture where sarcasm and detachment are the qualities that men are supposed to strive for in order to be cool, (especially when any apparent affinity for any other male will be derided by the homophobic masses as "gay",) I've been extremely lucky to have a number of invaluable male role models in my life.

(In case you haven't noticed, I'm using my blog as my online diary today. If you don't have any interest in the kind of stuff I'd write in a journal, please feel free to stop reading and check in tomorrow. I'm sure I'll be back to the useless, but slightly comedic dribble that I normally write.)

So these are my Thank-You's to a few guys who I look up to. (Sorry about ending that sentence with a preposition, but "... guys up to whom I look." seemed a bit ridiculous.)

Keith- Thanks for showing me that not running the rat race doesn't have to mean running against it. Sometimes it just means ignoring it and doing your own thing. Quiet competence is a very cool thing when more people you know spend way too much time blowing their own horn.

Rick- Thanks for demonstrating to me that anyone who says things like "Once a screw-up, always a screw-up," is an idiot. You were one of the first people I met who made it clear that I didn't need to know everything yet. I could pick it up as I went along.

Fletch- Thanks for being honest. At a time in my life when I was incredibly disillusioned with the whole world's fixation on artifice, you showed me that honesty, while not necessarily being the most trouble-free option, was indeed the best policy.

Jeff- Thanks for being the youngest Grown-Up I know. There are times, when I'm very frustrated with myself for not getting to where I want to be, that you give me a little bit of hope. (And though I realize it weirds you out a little that I look up to you when we are, at least chronologically speaking, roughly equal. You seem to deal with it well.)

Pop- Thanks for showing me who I can, with a lot of work, be. I know you're not perfect. Far from it, actually. But the older I get, the more it seems like I'm becoming like you. And that's definitely a good thing.

Grandpa- Thanks for showing me who I should try to be. You're the only person I've ever know whose priorities were ALWAYS in the right place. I'll never be able to live up to the example you set, but I'll always try.

Laterz