- Ten Years Ago: I had just started my senior year of high school. I lived with my folks, but not in the same building. I was actually thankful that they allowed me to live in the guest house most of the time. I didn’t realize that I was really doing them a favor by sparing them my presence. I drove a 1991 Teal Mazda Protégé that got 42 miles per gallon on a bad day, was, would go from 0 to 60 in under 6 minutes flat, and was lovingly know as “The Rice Burner”.
Five Years Ago: In September of 2000, I was a newlywed living in Lansing, Michigan. I was a graduate student and teaching assistant at Michigan State University, teaching “Coaching Baseball/Softball” and “Intermediate Softball”. I also took 3 classes but I don’t remember them. I quit school after that semester. I drove a 1991 Dodge Caravan, given to me by my new Mother-In-Law, when she was unable to convince any poor sap to actually buy it from her. Though all the doors opened just fine from the inside, it only had one hatch that was useable to enter the vehicle. My students at MSU LOVED watching me climb through the rear hatch of my minivan and crawl through the vehicle up to the driver’s seat so I could spew blue smoke behind me exiting campus.
One Year Ago: I was the store manager of 2 Blockbuster Video stores in Petoskey, as well as the owner of a small golf shop. I lived in a manufactured house on a very nice lot in P-town. I drove a ’98 Nissan Sentra with a number of Diversity bumper stickers on it, as well as power locks and windows. S.A. had just started a new job at the Woman’s Resource Center and we had been trying to start a family for a few months.
Yesterday: I taught “Microsoft Excel: Level I” for The Learning Center. Sarah came home and craved Burger King food. Pregnancy is really strange. We don’t even LIKE Burger King… I helped dig a trench from my house to my shop so I can run gas line out to the furnace in the golf shop.
Five Songs I Know All the Words To: I know every word to basically every song I’ve ever heard. That being said, I can easily perform on command-
Rainbow Connection – Kermit the Frog
Lodi – Creedence Clearwater Revival
Studebaker – Jordan Zevon
Oliver’s Army – Elvis Costello
Crocodile Rock – Elton John
Five Snacks: Edy’s Rocky Road Ice Cream, Sam’s Choice Crackers, Fresh Apples (Fresh is the key word. I don’t generally like apples from the store.), Garlic Melba Toast, Crab & Cocktail Sauce over Cream Cheese w/ Triscuits
Five Things I'd Do With $100 Million: Pay off every college loan for every one of my friends; buy the 10 acres next to my parents and build a kick-ass barn-style house; build my own recording studio; give my parents whatever they figured to be able to retire TODAY; give the rest to Sylvia, because she and Danno help us out as often as my folks do and I know she’d find all sorts of great causes to give it to.
Five Places I'd Run Away To: Miami, Miami, Miami, Miami, and for a change of pace, my folks house.
Five Things I'd Never Wear: Anything supporting President Bush , anything supporting the republican party in general, a v-neck sweater, briefs (seriously, how do you guy in your tighty-whities stand it?), a raccoon. (Would you?)
Five Favorite TV Shows: Queer as Folk, West Wing, Baseball Tonight, Any Detroit Pistons Telecast on FSN with Greg Kelser and Fred MacLeod, Celebrity Poker Showdown
Five Greatest Joys: Having an Animated Discussion w/ My Wife While Driving, playing piano in the dark, napping with Roxie on my chest (even though I invariably wake up with a cold), poker with all "my kids", lying in bed with S.A. talking about all the great stuff we’re gonna do with the baby
Five Favorite Toys: 3 words – SUPER MONKEY BALL. Also my Cleveland Launcher 400 Driver, Jeff’s postal Jeep (WHICH IS WHY I NEED MY OWN), Strat-O-Matic Baseball (1991 Season), my new Fire Poker from Yvonne
1. What is your favorite word? Bean (Also my favorite person, hmm…)
2. What is your least favorite word? Fidget (You hate it too, if you’d been told to stop doing it as much as I have.)
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? The ability to make me laugh out loud.
4. What turns you off? REPUBLICANS!!!!!
5. What is your favorite curse word? Goddamnmutherfuckingcocksmoke… (I got this from Nate, years ago.)
6. What sound or noise do you love? My wife snoring. (Seriously)
7. What sound or noise do you hate? Gunshots
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Professional musician
9. What profession would you not like to do? Accountant
10.If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “There are some old people with funny-ass names waiting inside for you.” (Seriously, I hope God cusses like a sailor.)
Friday, September 16, 2005
More wholy irrelevant facts about me.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
7 things...
Stole this one from Andrew Andrew.
7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die
___________________________________
1) Teach my kids to play baseball/softball, basketball, football, volleyball, and golf.
2) Give them the opportunity to decide that sports are a waste of time and that their time is better spent writing poetry. (And make sure they know I'll love 'em anyway.)
3) Take my son to every major league baseball stadium. (Yeah, it'd be cool with a daughter, too, but somehow, in my mind's eye...)
4) Golf in Scotland.
5) Record an album. Just me and a piano. (Okay, maybe a few friends on guitars and the like might be helpful, too.)
6) Become the President. (Of my kids' school board.)
7) Visit Prague with S.A. I may not have much of a sense of history, but it's her favorite place in the world and I truly want to share it with her.
__________________________________
7 Things I Cannot Do
__________________________________
1) Enjoy gross-out/sophmoric comedy movies. (Movies like "Wedding Crashers" and "Old School" make me want to punch people.
2) Walk more than 15 feet without "sprinkling". (This is my mom's term for whistling without enough air to really blow a note so it's just kind of airy sounding.)
3) Hear ANYTHING about our current president without becoming violently angry. I've actually stopped listening to NPR because I was afraid I was going to intentionally ram my car into an SUV at some point.
4) Keep my foot out of my mouth when regarding my wife's extended family. I actually LIKE her family, but I still manage to offend them regularly.
5) Convince myself that I do not actually NEED a Jeep. (Seriously, I am SO in need of a 12-step program.)
6) Make myself understand why appearances matter. Cars, houses, people, cribs, clothes... I'm just too logical, I guess.
7) Give up on humanity. Even time I come to terms with the idea that people in the U.S. are just not ever going to meet my standards, somebody goes and does something great and get my hopes up all over again. (My Mother-In-Law just offered up her home to any person or family who has been displaced my Hurricane Katrina. She lives in Northern Michigan but figures that if somebody makes it this far north, she'll definitely take 'em in. Kudos, Sylv. My Grandpa Beaver would be proud of you. So would Grandma Alice.)
______________________________
7 Things That Attract me to the same or opposite sex
______________________________
I'm nt goona say the cheeseball thing and put "a sense of humor", but only because it's not specific enough. Instead I'll lead off with-
1) A SHARP sense of humor. Nothing makes me laugh more than my wife shredding someone else. (I hope this doesn't make me a bad person.)
2) A flare for a witty turn-of-phrase. "Like ants on a twinkie," is one of the great similes of our time.
3) A great smile. And there is no other kind. Anyone is 100 times more attractive when they're smiling.
4) Hair. I never really knew I was a hair guy until I met my wife. Now, if I'm good, she'll let me brush her hair before bed.
5) Self-confidence. Know who you are and stand up for that person.
6) Intelligence. The ability to formulate a persuasive argument is SEXY.
7) Compassion and empathy. Nothing is more attractive than seeing that someone cares about something other than themselves.
_________________________
7 Things I Say Most Often
_________________________
1) "Bloody" I really do wish I was British.
2) "Bean" My pet name for S.A.
3) "Good grief!" I've worked really hard to curse less than I used to.
4) "Booger" Besides my obvious affinity for words beginning with "B", it's another one of those exclamations that keeps me from swearing at work.
5) "DUDE!" This one really only crops up when I'm around my friends from H.S. or college.
6)"If I was any father out on the left wing, the plane would flip over." (Describing my political views.) This first time I said this, I thought it was pretty witty. Years later, I don't find it nearly as charming. But people keep laughing at it, so I keep saying it. I'm a laugh whore.
7) "Yeesh..." I don't say this as much as I type it in email and IMs.
_______________________
7 Celebrity Crushes
_______________________
1) Vivica Fox. I'm not really a breast guy but, well, Yeesh...
2) Jessica Alba
3) Christina Ricci
4) Scarlett Johansen
5) Hilary Duff (S.A's gonna hate this one since I think she's still underaged and, as S.A. points out regularly, she has no neck.)
6) Natalie Portman
7) On VH1's "I Love the 90's", Jay & Silent Bob had a bit called "Guys I'd Go Gay For." #7 is my list that S.A. and I have joked about that the past couple years. In no particular order-
Hugh Grant, Phil Gordon (From Celebrity Poker Showdown), Dave Foley, and it seems like I'm missing someone, but I'm sure S.A. will point him out.
7 Things I Plan To Do Before I Die
___________________________________
1) Teach my kids to play baseball/softball, basketball, football, volleyball, and golf.
2) Give them the opportunity to decide that sports are a waste of time and that their time is better spent writing poetry. (And make sure they know I'll love 'em anyway.)
3) Take my son to every major league baseball stadium. (Yeah, it'd be cool with a daughter, too, but somehow, in my mind's eye...)
4) Golf in Scotland.
5) Record an album. Just me and a piano. (Okay, maybe a few friends on guitars and the like might be helpful, too.)
6) Become the President. (Of my kids' school board.)
7) Visit Prague with S.A. I may not have much of a sense of history, but it's her favorite place in the world and I truly want to share it with her.
__________________________________
7 Things I Cannot Do
__________________________________
1) Enjoy gross-out/sophmoric comedy movies. (Movies like "Wedding Crashers" and "Old School" make me want to punch people.
2) Walk more than 15 feet without "sprinkling". (This is my mom's term for whistling without enough air to really blow a note so it's just kind of airy sounding.)
3) Hear ANYTHING about our current president without becoming violently angry. I've actually stopped listening to NPR because I was afraid I was going to intentionally ram my car into an SUV at some point.
4) Keep my foot out of my mouth when regarding my wife's extended family. I actually LIKE her family, but I still manage to offend them regularly.
5) Convince myself that I do not actually NEED a Jeep. (Seriously, I am SO in need of a 12-step program.)
6) Make myself understand why appearances matter. Cars, houses, people, cribs, clothes... I'm just too logical, I guess.
7) Give up on humanity. Even time I come to terms with the idea that people in the U.S. are just not ever going to meet my standards, somebody goes and does something great and get my hopes up all over again. (My Mother-In-Law just offered up her home to any person or family who has been displaced my Hurricane Katrina. She lives in Northern Michigan but figures that if somebody makes it this far north, she'll definitely take 'em in. Kudos, Sylv. My Grandpa Beaver would be proud of you. So would Grandma Alice.)
______________________________
7 Things That Attract me to the same or opposite sex
______________________________
I'm nt goona say the cheeseball thing and put "a sense of humor", but only because it's not specific enough. Instead I'll lead off with-
1) A SHARP sense of humor. Nothing makes me laugh more than my wife shredding someone else. (I hope this doesn't make me a bad person.)
2) A flare for a witty turn-of-phrase. "Like ants on a twinkie," is one of the great similes of our time.
3) A great smile. And there is no other kind. Anyone is 100 times more attractive when they're smiling.
4) Hair. I never really knew I was a hair guy until I met my wife. Now, if I'm good, she'll let me brush her hair before bed.
5) Self-confidence. Know who you are and stand up for that person.
6) Intelligence. The ability to formulate a persuasive argument is SEXY.
7) Compassion and empathy. Nothing is more attractive than seeing that someone cares about something other than themselves.
_________________________
7 Things I Say Most Often
_________________________
1) "Bloody" I really do wish I was British.
2) "Bean" My pet name for S.A.
3) "Good grief!" I've worked really hard to curse less than I used to.
4) "Booger" Besides my obvious affinity for words beginning with "B", it's another one of those exclamations that keeps me from swearing at work.
5) "DUDE!" This one really only crops up when I'm around my friends from H.S. or college.
6)"If I was any father out on the left wing, the plane would flip over." (Describing my political views.) This first time I said this, I thought it was pretty witty. Years later, I don't find it nearly as charming. But people keep laughing at it, so I keep saying it. I'm a laugh whore.
7) "Yeesh..." I don't say this as much as I type it in email and IMs.
_______________________
7 Celebrity Crushes
_______________________
1) Vivica Fox. I'm not really a breast guy but, well, Yeesh...
2) Jessica Alba
3) Christina Ricci
4) Scarlett Johansen
5) Hilary Duff (S.A's gonna hate this one since I think she's still underaged and, as S.A. points out regularly, she has no neck.)
6) Natalie Portman
7) On VH1's "I Love the 90's", Jay & Silent Bob had a bit called "Guys I'd Go Gay For." #7 is my list that S.A. and I have joked about that the past couple years. In no particular order-
Hugh Grant, Phil Gordon (From Celebrity Poker Showdown), Dave Foley, and it seems like I'm missing someone, but I'm sure S.A. will point him out.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Perhaps a peg-leg?
Most of already know that we have two cats, Roxie and Velma. When we fed them this morning, Sarah realized that, though Roxie joined us to eat, she was not putting any weight on her right hind leg. When I picked her up, I found that her leg was hanging limply from the hip joint, although, quite surprisingly, she did not hiss or scratch when I felt the leg, trying to find a break.
I took her to Jensen's Animal Hospital where a childhood friend, Sarah Ginop, is now a vet. Sarah called me a few hours later to tell me that Roxie had been hit by a car and had broken femur in 2 places. Thankfully, undoubtedly because of Roxie's predilection for neatness, she had cleaned herself so well that there was absolutely no sign of infection. Sometimes being an uppity snot is a good thing, I guess. However, do to the severity of the break, the best option for a full recovery was to amputate the leg.
Roxie has always been a beautiful cat. You know that old adage about there being girls you date and girls you marry? Roxie is definitely a girl you date. She's pitch black with a white muzzle, white tummy, and white feet. (In case you wondered, Velma is a girl you marry. Cute enough, and you know that she'll always love you, but you also know that all those bugs she eats are gonna go straight to her hips.) I guess now instead of doing that kitty calendar that S.A. and I have joked about, she's gonna have to do an amputee calendar with Heather McCartney.
Anyway, she'll have her surgery later this afternoon or early tomorrow, so we should be able to bring her home on Friday. She'll be living in the guest room, since even I , with my allergies, can't bring myself to make her stay outside, even in the shop, while she's recuperating. So everybody keep her in your thoughts and prayers. (Even though you should already be thinking of the homeless in New Orleans about 24/7.)
Laterz
I took her to Jensen's Animal Hospital where a childhood friend, Sarah Ginop, is now a vet. Sarah called me a few hours later to tell me that Roxie had been hit by a car and had broken femur in 2 places. Thankfully, undoubtedly because of Roxie's predilection for neatness, she had cleaned herself so well that there was absolutely no sign of infection. Sometimes being an uppity snot is a good thing, I guess. However, do to the severity of the break, the best option for a full recovery was to amputate the leg.
Roxie has always been a beautiful cat. You know that old adage about there being girls you date and girls you marry? Roxie is definitely a girl you date. She's pitch black with a white muzzle, white tummy, and white feet. (In case you wondered, Velma is a girl you marry. Cute enough, and you know that she'll always love you, but you also know that all those bugs she eats are gonna go straight to her hips.) I guess now instead of doing that kitty calendar that S.A. and I have joked about, she's gonna have to do an amputee calendar with Heather McCartney.
Anyway, she'll have her surgery later this afternoon or early tomorrow, so we should be able to bring her home on Friday. She'll be living in the guest room, since even I , with my allergies, can't bring myself to make her stay outside, even in the shop, while she's recuperating. So everybody keep her in your thoughts and prayers. (Even though you should already be thinking of the homeless in New Orleans about 24/7.)
Laterz
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)