4 Things Blog Meme

Four jobs I’ve had:

1. Store manager - Blockbuster Video
2. Statistics Teaching Assistant - Barry University
3. Assistant to the Director of the Speakers Bureau - Florida Marlins
4. TAPESTRY Assistant - C.O.P.E.S.D.

Four movies I can watch over and over:

1. Star Wars
2. The Muppet Movie
3. Mr. Baseball
4. Air America

Four places I’ve lived:

1. Burt Lake
2. Miami Shores
3. Lansing
4. Mt. Pleasant

Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. The Daily Show w/ John Stewart
2. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. The Soup

Four places I’ve been on vacation:

1. The Badlands
2. Baseball and Boardwalk
3. Duck
4. Los Alamos

Four of my favorite dishes:

1. Chili
2. Aunt Marie's Zuchini Casserole
3. My Dad's Mac 'n' Cheese
4. S.A.'s Pot Roast

Four sites I visit daily:

1. Free Press Sports
2. Deadspin
3. The Blog at the End of the Universe
4. Ken Levine

Four places I’d rather be right now:

1. Home
2. Keith Ronk's Garage
3. The Cottage
4. Miami

Four bloggers I’m tagging:

1. Andrew Andrew
2. S.A.
3. Amy
4. Sorry, I'm only tagging 3.

Blogger Beta

Blogger Beta finally let me move my blog over this morning. This allows me to apply "tags" to my entries that tell y'all what specific stuff is about. (For instance, it's fun for me to look back through all the stuff I write about S.A.) All I have to do is to go back to every entry I've ever posted and decided how I was to tag it.

As you might guess, I'm not getting ANY work done this morning.

Election Day is Coming Up

I borrowed this from Ken Levine, who took it from Larry Gelbart. I don't think either of them would mind.

For Election Day – Lest We Forget


Iraq
Iraq
Iraq
Abu Ghraib
Guantanamo
Evil Doers
Evil Do Gooders
Terrormercials
Outsourcing Jobs
OutsourcingTorture
Quitting International Criminal Court
The Kyoto Protocol
The Geneva Conventions
Leaving Habeas Corpus for Dead
Civil War Abroad
Uncivil War at Home
Sound Bites
Unsound Policies
Unremorseful
Unregretful
Unrepentant
The Middle East Mess
The Middle Class Collapse
Predictably Unprepared
Perpetually Unequipped
Unmatched Ignorance
Unbridled Arrogance
Unwarranted Phone Taps
Unprecedented Powers
Compassionate Imperialism
Faith-Based Fascism
Total Dicktatorship
700 Club
700 Mile Border Fence
Over 700 Presidential Signing Statements
Unmatched Incompetence
Unparalleled Corruption
Ethic Cleansing
Governor Bob Taft
Governor John Rowland
Governor Bill Janklow
Oversight
Overlook
Stuff Happens
Stuffed Shirts
Tailored Suits
Tailored Stories
24/7 Spin Cycle
Executive Privilege
Privileged Executives
Wordsmiths
Warsmiths
Surrogate Samurais
Draft Dodging Doges
Potomac Pattons
A Coven of the Craven
Representative Tom Delay
Representative Roy Blunt
Representative Ken Calvert
Representative John Doolittle
Representative Jean Schmidt
Representative Jim Gibbons
Representative Tom Feeney
Representative Patrick McHenry
Representative Christopher Shays
Representative Katherine Harris
Representative Barbara Cubin
Representative Joe Barton
Representative Jerry Lewis
Representative Gary Miller
Representative Marilyn Musgrave
Representative Richard Pombo
Representative Rick Renzi
Representative John Sweeney
Representative Charles Taylor
Representative Curt Weldon
Representative J.D. Hayworth
Representative Don Sherwood
Representative John Patterson
Representative Rodney Alexander
Representative Roy LaHood
Representative Bob Beauprez
Representative Bob Ney
Representative Randy Cunningham
Representative Chris Cannon
Jeff Gannon
Representative Mark Foley
Representative Dennis Hastert
Representative Jim Kolbe
Representative John Shimkus
Representative Tom Reynolds
Over Paid
Over Reaching
Over Logging
Under Armored
Under Suspicion
Beneath Contempt
Senator Bill Frist
Senator George Allen
Senator Conrad Burns
Senator Joe Lieberman
Senator Rick Santorum
Senator Trent Lott
Senator James Inhofe
Senator Pat Roberts
Senator Sam Brownback
Rubber Stamps
Robber Barons
Senator Larry Craig
Craig Schelske
Ken Blackwell
Lester Crawford
Crawford, Texas
Brian Bilbray
Margaret Spellings
Media Consolidation
Homophobia on the Range
Fearmongering
Smearslinging
The RNC
The DNC (Do Nothing Congress)
DC (Dutifully Corporate)
Family Valuables
The Far Wrong
The Far Righteous
Reverend Jerry Falwell
Reverend Pat Robertson
Reverend James Dobson
Reverend Lou Sheldon
Ralph Reed
Gary Bauer
David Safavian
Vice Presidential Energy Task Force
Seventy Dollars a Barrel
Three Bucks a Gallon
Record Oil Company Profits
Anwar Pipeline
Anbar Province
Arthur Anderson
ABB
Adelphia Communications
Merck
Eli Lilly
Mirant
AOL Time Warner
Kmart
Bristol-Myers Squibb
CMS Energy
Duke Energy
Nicor Energy
Reliant Energy
Dynegy
Peregrine Systems
Homestore.com
Xerox
Qwest
Tyco
WorldCom
Global Crossing
Global Warming
Global Boiling
Lee Raymond
Exxon
Enron
Abramoff
Tribe Bribes
Mike Scanlon
Grover Norquist
War Profiteers
War Privateers
Halliburton
Bechtel
Blackwater
CACI
Titan
Carlyle Group
Custer Battles
Kellogg, Brown & Root
George Tenet
Unanswered Questions
Questionable Answers
Adam Kidan
Timothy Flanigan
Lawrence Lindsay
Jessica Lynch
Jim Ellis
John Colyandro
Donald Keyser
Peter Roskam
Katherine Gun
Garrett Lott
Armstrong Williams
Talking Points
Pointless Talking
Chuck McGee
James Tobin
Thomas Scully
Kenneth Tomlinson
Allen Raymond
Claude Allen
Katrina
Rita
Harriet (Miers)
FEMA
FISA
NSA
Cut and Run
Run on Cuts
Bring It On
Dead Or Alive
Terri Schiavo
Bill Frist, MD
John Bolton
Diebold
Florida, 2000
Ohio, 2004
North Korea 2006
Selective Diplomacy
Preemptive War
Iraq.
Iran?
Sleeper Cells
Stem Cell Research
Darfur
Dubai Ports World
Swift Boat Hit Men
Max Cleland
Douglas Feith
Mumming the Press
Dumbing the Proles
Roger Ailes
Sean Hannity
Bill O’Reilly
Fred Barnes
Morton Kondracke
Brit Hume
John Gibson
Ann Coulter
Laura Ingraham
Michelle Malkin
Glenn Beck
Neil Cavuto
Neal Boortz
Neil Bush (No Brother Left Behind)
Rush Limbaugh
David Frum
David Horowitz
Golden Parachutes
Shrunken Pensions
Sunken Bipartisanship
Bernie Kerik
Eminent Domain
J. Steven Griles
Numerous Convictions
Occasional Confessions
Social Security Privatization
Abrupt Resignations
Porter Goss
Dusty Foggo
Zero Accountability
Even Less Credibility
Michael Chertoff
Homeland Insecurity
Ahmad Chalabi
Baghdad Museum
Tora Bora
Taliban Resurgence
Iraqi Insurgents
General William Boykin
General Eric Shinseki
General Janet Karpinski
General Ricardo Sanchez
General Anthony Zinni
Mission Accomplished
Lawbreaking Lawmakers
Impeachable Sources
Suppressed Medicare Costs
The Donut Hole
Intelligent Design
Intelligence Failures
Ari Fleischer
Scott McClellan
Tony Snow
Tony Perkins
Tony Rudy
Tony Blankley
Tony Blair
Downing Street Memo
The Late Great Britain
Ken Mehlman
Dennis Prager
Wayne Simmons
Frank Gaffney
Expiration of Assault Weapons Ban
John Ashcroft
Alberto Gonzales
Alberto Fernandez
Danny Diaz
William Bennett
Stephen Hadley
Karen Hughes
Bunnatine Greenhouse
Richard Grasso
Brian Doyle
Thomas Noe
Ted Van Der Meid
Tan Nguyen
Michael Gerson
Michael Medved
Michael Reagan
Michael Maloof
Michael Savage
Aluminum Tubes
Rice
Yellowcake
Niger
Valerie Plame
Joseph Wilson
Scooter Libby
Robert Novak
Richard Armitage
Brent Bozell III
Paul Bremer III
Gulf II
Non-Regime-Changing Regime Changers
Neoconmen
Ex-Non-Vet Vulcans
Playing to an Enraptured Audience
Armageddon Uber Alles
Paul Wolfowitz
Richard Perle
David Wormser
Elliott Abrams
James Woolsey
Zalmay Khalizad
William Kristol
The Coalition of the Dwindling
Staining the Course
WMD (W’s Mass Denials)
Mad Cowboy Disease
Mad Cowhands Disease
Kissinger Redux
Duck Cheney
Rumbo
Blossom (the Turd)
George (the Fourth):Son of a Higher Father; Uniter, Decider, Flatulater; Reader of at least three Shakespeares, Camus’ “The Stranger” and “The Pet Goat;”
Prematurely discharged National Air Guardsman, missing in inaction, who describes members of the political party that successfully prosecuted two world wars as quitters.
Billions Missing in Iraq
Trillions Missing in D.C.
Missing Limbs
Missed Lives
Iraq
Iraq
Iraq

Health-Conscious Strip Joints

We're going downstate this weekend for a bachelor and a bachelorette party. The latter is really a misnomer. I'm not sure what the specific qualifications are for a bachelorette party, but I'm pretty sure that having the bride-to-be's Grandpa and Grandma in attendance pretty much disqualifies it.

I'll be attending the bachelor party. Actually, it sounds like we're playing disc golf, having a cook-out, and either watching a baseball game on TV (assuming the Tigers don't lose the next 2 games) or a hockey game in person. To my way of thinking, this means that someone planned a bachelor party without actually talking to the groom-to-be, because I have to assume that no red-blooded American male is gonna okay a bachelor party for himself that does not, in any way, involve strippers. This is, after all, quite possibly the last opportunity for him to view, let's say, assets which do not belong to his bride-to-be.

Being the good friend that I always try to be, I decided to do a little research in order to to formulate a backup plan. (You know, in case he yells "This is a bachelor party! I want assets!")

As Grand Rapids is a pretty conservative place, I was concerned that there might be a scarcity or decent adult-oriented establishments. Silly me.

It turns out that there are a couple site that review strip clubs. Also, they do not involve NSFW pictures, which I found interesting. Obviously these are sites for folks with a purely academic interest in strip clubs. (Unfortunately, the names of the sites are NSFW, so I was glad I was doing the research on my wife's laptop sitting in the periodical room at the library. You don't really want sites like "strippers-r-us.com" popping up in your history at work.) Anyway, it turns out that G.R. does, in fact, have a very highly thought of establishment called the Red Barn Adult Theater.

Among its other selling points was one that stood out for me. Since it's illegal in Michigan for an establishment that features full nudity to have a liquor license, the Red Barn features a juice bar!

I think this is great. It's much easier to convince your significant other to allow you (And to all of you guys who are saying to yourselves "I don't need anybody's permission to go anywhere!", you are obviously not married, so shut up.) to visit a strip joint if you tell her that you promise to be very health-conscious while you're there.

Which leads me to a related story.

Years ago, when my buddy Kev was in college, he and a few pals enjoyed a guys-night-out which included visits to multiple bars and a strip joint or two. The next day, while all the guys were feeling a bit under-the-weather, one of the guys looked particularly bad. One of his eyes was swollen half-shut. Since none of the guys really had perfect recollection of the entire evening, they couldn't figure what he'd done do give himself the beginnings of a shiner, but they weren't particularly concerned. However, as the eye got worse over the following couple days, they all convinced him that he should see a doctor.

The diagnosis was a bit, well, icky. It turns out that the gentleman had a pubic louse in his eye. Evidently a product of enjoying too many lap-dances from gals who didn't enjoy showers.

Luckily, I feel confident that kind of thing doesn't happen at clubs with juice bars.

Laterz.

May the force (play) be with you.

What do you get when you combine baseball and Star Wars? (Besides the bad pun in this post title...)

Whitecaps baseball on Friday night!

We took Sam to the Whitecaps game on Saturday. (We being S.A. and me, along with Sam's Grammy, Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Jeff, Aunt Rachel, Cousin Dave, Cousin Holly, and Cousin Joe.)

The game itself was uneventful, but it was Star Wars night at the ball park. Hence the following picture-

Notice how serious he looks. I suppose holding an entire
galaxy under the tyrannical thumb of the Emporer is serious work.

Job security

I just got word that, after months of bitching, the powers-that-be have just ordered me $8000 worth of computers and digital projectors.

Considering the fact that no-one else in the office has a clue how to hook one of the new machines up, much less teach someone else how to use one, I guess this means I won't be getting fired this week.

Music so great it advances evolutionary theory

My son (who's 4 months old today) has a new favorite song.

The New York Dolls have released a new album and the first single is called "Dance Like A Monkey" and it's actually about the evolution/intelligent design/creationism debate.
Also it has a good beat and the way my wife dances to it when playing with my son is the funniest damn thing you've ever seen. (She would not let me videotape it. Sorry.)

You can check the video out here.

Laterz

Sports traditions

I remember a time as a kid, when I was playing little league, that I found myself involved in a little bit of a hot streak. 20 years later, I remember the streak itself much less clearly than I remember hiding my socks from my mom after every game because, as any sports fan knows, you don't wash your socks during a hot streak!

This came tom mind today because there's a neat article in the Detroit Free Press about sports traditions. It talk about where they came from and what they mean. For those of you who aren't sports fans, they probably won't mean anything to you (other than possibly giving you a little bit of insight into the slightly warped mind of the sports nut).

And for anybody who takes the time to click over to the article but thinks they're all silly, you should understand how deeply these concepts take hold and the fond memories they engender for some of us. My wife will attest that I still cry every time I hear a clip of Harry Carey singing "Take me out to the Ballgame".

Here are a couple that I would have to add to the list. They won't mean anything to most of you, but for a few, should at least make you laugh.

1. If you have a Jacksonville Jaguars hat, it always goes under you left foot during a tight volleyball game.
2. Nobody wants to be a monkey as much as Marcy P. And the "Theme of the Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen" is always good luck.
3. Always put a handful of sunflower seeds in your mouth at once. Make sure to spit the shells through the fence. Extra points for hitting the umpire.
4. "I don't want you to be sorry. Just do better."

That's about all I can think of right this moment. Feel free to add if y'all have any other bright ideas.

Laterz.

And the President can't figure out why the economy is a piece of shit...

I (I, in this case, meaning my office.) got hired to do a small job recently. A small company, which is currently trying to rapidly expand, hired me to create a 20-odd page powerpoint presentation that they can use when presenting their products to potential customers.

It's not a bad job; it's just somewhat time consuming.

I have to say, though, that it's a little odd to be paid about $1000 for a job that could proabably be performed by the average 6th grader.

No wonder 90% of small buinesses fail within 2 years.

Of exhaust pipes and role models...

This weekend, I installed a new exhaust pipe on my car. To those of you who are "car guys" (or "car gals"), this probably doesn't seem like a big deal. However, being as I'm the kind of person who calls AAA when I have a flat tire, successfully replacing a major piece of hardware on my car was a major personal victory.

I had a bit (okay a lot) of help installing the pipe from a family friend who, in a former life, was the head mechanic at a local dealership. He now has a very well equipped auto shop, for his personal use, at his house. Since our families have been friends forever, (He's my best friend's dad.) I felt comfortable calling him on a Sunday afternoon and requesting the use of his shop.

As it turns out, I also made good use of his expertise. I think he was afraid I'd hurt myself (or, more likely, his shop) if he didn't help. At any rate, we successfully changed the pipe and my car no longer sounds like a Harley with a badly tuned carburetor.


His assistance gave me pause to think, however. I'm nearing 30 years old. I have a 3-month-old son. I've been married for almost 6 years. By any legal or even logical definition, I'm an adult. The thing is, regardless of how many "adult" activities I participate in, I still don't feel like a Grown-Up.

I think this is due, at least in part, to the fact that there are a number of "Grown-Ups" that I admire and look up to. And it feels like, if I'm looking up to a number of people, then I must, logically, be down. And I guess that's okay.

In a culture where sarcasm and detachment are the qualities that men are supposed to strive for in order to be cool, (especially when any apparent affinity for any other male will be derided by the homophobic masses as "gay",) I've been extremely lucky to have a number of invaluable male role models in my life.

(In case you haven't noticed, I'm using my blog as my online diary today. If you don't have any interest in the kind of stuff I'd write in a journal, please feel free to stop reading and check in tomorrow. I'm sure I'll be back to the useless, but slightly comedic dribble that I normally write.)

So these are my Thank-You's to a few guys who I look up to. (Sorry about ending that sentence with a preposition, but "... guys up to whom I look." seemed a bit ridiculous.)

Keith- Thanks for showing me that not running the rat race doesn't have to mean running against it. Sometimes it just means ignoring it and doing your own thing. Quiet competence is a very cool thing when more people you know spend way too much time blowing their own horn.

Rick- Thanks for demonstrating to me that anyone who says things like "Once a screw-up, always a screw-up," is an idiot. You were one of the first people I met who made it clear that I didn't need to know everything yet. I could pick it up as I went along.

Fletch- Thanks for being honest. At a time in my life when I was incredibly disillusioned with the whole world's fixation on artifice, you showed me that honesty, while not necessarily being the most trouble-free option, was indeed the best policy.

Jeff- Thanks for being the youngest Grown-Up I know. There are times, when I'm very frustrated with myself for not getting to where I want to be, that you give me a little bit of hope. (And though I realize it weirds you out a little that I look up to you when we are, at least chronologically speaking, roughly equal. You seem to deal with it well.)

Pop- Thanks for showing me who I can, with a lot of work, be. I know you're not perfect. Far from it, actually. But the older I get, the more it seems like I'm becoming like you. And that's definitely a good thing.

Grandpa- Thanks for showing me who I should try to be. You're the only person I've ever know whose priorities were ALWAYS in the right place. I'll never be able to live up to the example you set, but I'll always try.

Laterz

Anagrams

Andrew Andrew wrote a quickie blog the other day involving anagrams. I love anagrams. (Too many years of reading Dave Barry, I guess...)

I checked out the site he referenced and had to share one of the anagrams created for me.

From this point forward, the agency for whom I toil (The Learning Center of Northern Michigan) shall be known as-
On fertile, trenchant greenhorn. I'm aching.

So true. So true.

And speaking of editors...

I received a call today at work from a gentleman who was having some difficulty getting MS Word to work the way he wanted it to. He was trying to put a header at the top of his first page that was different from the header at the top of all his other pages.

This is a little bit unusual, but not a particularly complicated problem. I could have walked him through a couple different ways to fix it but I figired it'd be faster if he just emailed it to me and let me fix it for him.

When I sent the file back to him, I laughed and offered him my name, which I had neglected to do in our initial conversation since we really had gotten right down to work. He, of course, reciprocated with his name.

I turns out that the gentleman I just showed a very simple word trick to - the kind of trick most 5th graders could do today - was turning in this paper as his final project for his MASTER'S DEGREE in education.

Worse yet- He recently retired from his previous job. He had been the editor of the local paper for the past 25 years.

The Problem With Editors

Dear "Anonymous"-

Thank you for taking the time to read and post a comment on my blog. I certainly appreciate all my readers and the opinions they express.

In response to your comment from last night at 9:30pm, I offer the following notes.

I said that the situation was "on the periphery" of my life. Nowhere did I say that I wasn't "involved." To quote the editors, "We're ALL involved!"

Additionally, you're probably right. I probably should listen to my editors more. For example, my editor wouldn't allow me to make any retorts about the importance of grammar and spelling in anything that's posted for others to read. So I won't.

Also, they've made it very clear to me that, in journalism, one should never pay attention to an anonymous source, as anyone who's unwilling to go on record and be held accountable for what they say is obviously not a credible source.

As I say. I've got smart editors.

p.s. If you're reading this and it is about you, WELCOME! As I already said, it looks like life may be about to get exciting.

Efficiency

In the interest of getting the word out as expeditiously as possible-

Junior will be baptized on August 6th. Be there or be square.

(In all seriousness, Barry Gang, ya gotta be here. The kid's got a whole pile of Aunts and Uncles that he needs to meet! Also, Michigan is beautiful in August. Remember the wedding?)

Frustration

(My editors are concerned that someone might read this next blog entry and think that I might be fuming at them. In all seriousness, the people this is about don't know I HAVE a blog. Otherwise, how could I spout off about them?)

There's some crap going on, sort of on the periphery of my life, that REALLY torques me off. Unfortunately, it's not technically any of my business so I can't say anything to anybody about it. But I'm telling the whole world right now, a few people I know deserve a giant "Shut the f*** up."

I'm a pacifist by nature, but there are definitely times when there's no better way to communicate than with an uppercut to the jaw. Since that's not socially acceptable, allow me to say to all those who are negatively affected by the a**holes in their lives- Don't let the f***ers get you down.

Also, my father-in-law owns an 8-foot cannon, should you need to borrow it.

Note of the day

S.A. gave be a bit of grief this morning because I didn't have any breakfast. I didn't feel this was exactly a crisis, as I gained 40 pounds while she was pregnant with Junior (I've lost 15 since he was born), but I figured I could probably use some sort of energy source for my day so I stopped at Big Apple Bagel for a coffee on my way to work.

It turns out that the Cinnamon Toast Latte is really good. Also, if you flirt a little with the gal at the counter, she'll give you a large CTL for the price of a regular coffee.

I may not have eaten yet today, but at least I fed my ego.

Welcome to the world, Sonny Boy!

I promise that I'll now be much better about blogging, if only because I now have more to write about.

I could write a long blog here about the unbelievable week I've had (and I probably will later) but, for now, I'm just gonna post a picture. I think it pretty much says everything.

Conversations You're Glad Took Place on Instant Messenger rather than on, say, Speaker Phone

This is a partial transcript of a conversation I had this morning on Instant Messenger.


[07:39] JoesGolfWorks: Good morning, my friend!
[07:42] zaphodbb1: good morning :)
[07:43] zaphodbb1: You're in a good mood.
[07:43] JoesGolfWorks: I'm faking it. :)
[07:43] JoesGolfWorks: I've decided to be perky this morning.
[07:43] zaphodbb1: Wheeee
[07:43] JoesGolfWorks: Because the alternative is biting people.
[07:43] zaphodbb1: Can't you do both?
[07:44] JoesGolfWorks: Yes. But now the biting will be a real surprise to my victims.
[07:44] zaphodbb1: Don't they always say that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile and bite?
[07:44] JoesGolfWorks: Something like that.
[07:45] zaphodbb1: I haven't left home yet, so my smiles are real.
[07:45] JoesGolfWorks: Lucky bastard.
[07:45] JoesGolfWorks: What time do you normally get to work?
[07:46] zaphodbb1: Around 9
[07:46] JoesGolfWorks: Ah.
[07:46] JoesGolfWorks: No wonder you're smiling.
[07:47] zaphodbb1: Working 9 to 5, as Dolly Parton says. Or Polly Darton, if you're in a Sesame Street mood.
[07:47] JoesGolfWorks: :) Which I am.
[07:47] zaphodbb1: And that's why we're such good friends.
[07:47] JoesGolfWorks: LOL
[07:48] zaphodbb1: Did you do anything this weekend?
[07:48] JoesGolfWorks: Nope. Just worked in the shop, getting ready for spring.
[07:49] zaphodbb1: That's right, you have seasons up there in Canada.
[07:49] JoesGolfWorks: We do.
[07:50] JoesGolfWorks: To quote the popular saying, "9 months of winter and 3 months of bad sledding."
[07:50] zaphodbb1: Whoo, you wacky yoopers.
[07:50] JoesGolfWorks: :)
[07:50] JoesGolfWorks: Did you see that Dick Cheney shot someone?
[07:50] zaphodbb1: Yes ... and the guy's doing fine, which means the news can make fun of it all they want.
[07:51] zaphodbb1: Doing anything for V-day?
[07:51] JoesGolfWorks: No plans. Flowers sent to the office, etc.
[07:51] JoesGolfWorks: She can't go out tomorrow because she has a breast-feeding class.
[07:52] zaphodbb1: Ah, the classic Valentine's Day excuse.
[07:52] JoesGolfWorks: I'm nothing if not original.
[07:53] zaphodbb1: How did people manage before there were classes?
[07:53] zaphodbb1: I imagine it was chaos.
[07:53] JoesGolfWorks: I have no idea.
[07:54] JoesGolfWorks: I suspect that guys were a great deal happier before Lamaze.
[07:54] JoesGolfWorks: Talk about videos you do NOT want to watch...
[07:55] zaphodbb1: The book was better?
[07:56] JoesGolfWorks: We have LOTS of books and none of them have THOSE pictures.
[07:57] zaphodbb1: Clearly you don't own Curious George and the Lamaze Class.
[07:57] JoesGolfWorks: This is true.
[07:58] zaphodbb1: Or maybe it was Llama's Class. Something like that.
[07:59] JoesGolfWorks: I had a book as a kid, called A Foal is Born, that starred, in a very significant role, Horse Placenta.
[07:59] JoesGolfWorks: I remember thinking, "Thank God people hired the stork to take care of this crap."
[08:00] zaphodbb1: That's slightly horrifying.
[08:00] zaphodbb1: From the producers of Summer of Sam comes ... Horse Placenta
[08:01] zaphodbb1: In a world ...
[08:01] zaphodbb1: "You'll never take me alive, Horse Placenta!"
[08:01] zaphodbb1: Starring Samuel L. Jackson

I suppose it's good that I get these conversations out of the way before I see any actual people. Most folks would be permanently scarred by talks like this.

Laterz

Working from home.

Yesterday, I decided to leave work at 9:30am because I wasn't feeling well. I figured it was okay because I only had a couple of telephone trainings to conduct and I figured I could do them from home as well as I could from the office. In other words, I figured I'd spend an hour or 2 on the phone and then relax all afternoon.

Oh, the best laid plans of Mice and.... whatever.

I was training from 10am to 4pm and then did a bit more in the evening (though not much, because my trainee thought I sounded too sick, so she told me to go to bed. Sarah laughed quite hard about that.)

So much for my nice relaxing day.

Today's been better, however. I scheduled a few trainings, but the morning was a quickie and I passed off my afternoon job to another trainer, which has given me enough time to shuffle a few papers around on my desk and read the Freep online.

I also took S.A. out to lunch because I was concerned that she was going to kill everyone at her office if I didn't. And to repay me, she has referred to me in her blog today as her manservant. It's good to know where you stand, I guess.

Laterz

I'm sick.

In this case, I mean that completely literally.

I've been fighting off a cold for a few days and I seem to be losing the battle. I slept in the guest room last night in no small part because S.A. can't take any meds and I didn't want to make her sick. Unfortunately, the guest bed is not nearly as comfy as our bed so I didn't sleep particularly well.

I'm supposed to be conducting trainings via telephone all day today, so I thihnk I might go back home and do them from there. It's still work, but it doesn't suck nearly as badly when I get to do it while wrapped in an afghan sitting on my couch.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it,) my office does not have call forwarding, so I can't forward all my calls home. It'd be convenient, but I guess it'd probably piss me off to be getting calls all evening tonight before I come back into work tomorrow to turn off the forwarding. I guess I'll have to make due with checking my voicemail.

Luckily, I don't think I have anything in TiVo, so I shouldn't be tempted to watch TV instead of actually working.

Laterz